Mind Manners
Mind Manners
Develop Extreme Discipline
What if you could transform your life just by mastering self-discipline? In this compelling episode of Mind Manners, we uncover the secrets to building extreme discipline, drawing on my personal experiences with martial arts. We'll explore the vital role of delayed gratification and impulse control in achieving success. Imagine the consequences of a lack of self-discipline—poor habits, financial woes, and lost focus—and take the first step toward a better future by starting small today.
Discover the fast track to mastering self-discipline and boosting productivity through discomfort training, strategic pressure, and accountability. We'll discuss how doing important tasks, especially when you don’t feel like it, can train your mind to follow your lead. Learn the power of setting deadlines, leveraging competition, and reaffirming your 'why'. Embrace discomfort and view failure as part of the growth process to build resilience and mental toughness.
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Most of us struggle with self-discipline, and it shows up in many ways. Whether it's falling victim to procrastination, poor eating habits, skipping exercise, neglecting good hygiene, struggling to sustain attention, indulging in emotional eating or bad spending habits. We often find ourselves wasting time and acting on impulses. Sounds like you? Well, you're in good company, because we all struggle with it. Discipline isn't something we're born with, but here's the good news it's a skill and, like any skill, we can choose to get better at it. In today's session, I want to talk about how you can build extreme discipline quickly and simply. If you listen and practice what I tell you, you will undoubtedly develop solid discipline.
Speaker 2:You're listening to Mind Manners, hosted by licensed psychotherapist Albert Nguyen. Albert helps his clients overcome past trauma, change their mindset and accelerate their personal and professional development. This podcast covers a wide range of mental health and self-development topics, with each episode offering an actionable step towards a better you. If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1:I've spent more than half my life training and practicing martial arts. We're talking more than 20-some-odd years. When you hear about someone doing something that long, you can imagine that, whatever that thing is, that it's become an integral and inherent part of who they are. From my young teen years until now, martial arts have taught me a lot about myself and how to practice principles and values. Now what's interesting for me to reflect on is that I didn't have anyone constantly pushing me or motivating me to keep going. Sure, there were people around who supplemented my motivation, but the driving force was a burning, intrinsic desire to get better. I actually wanted to get better, and getting better in martial arts was connected to something deeper than just getting my black belt or becoming a champion at some point. I spent years doing the same techniques punches and kicks over and over again hundreds of times a day. Even when I got better, I continued to push myself further. Did it ever get boring? Absolutely, it got really boring and tedious. Did it ever get challenging? Of course, anyone who has ever gained any level of mastery and developed a deep passion for something would understand how lonely it can feel. I spent many of my days training in solitude while friends and family were out eating whatever they want and having fun. While I maintained discipline, there were plenty of days when I didn't want to train a practice. As I got older, there were even more reasons and excuses to skip training, but I kept going. And you know what? I don't regret any of it. Reflecting on these memories of how I lived in my teens, I am in awe and wonder, with so much appreciation and gratitude for my younger self. When I was younger, I didn't fully understand it, but now more than ever I realized that I had developed self-discipline in a way that went beyond the norm. People often wrote me off as unique or different, but the truth is I'm just like everyone else. In fact, I would go as far as to say that I was below average in both physicality and mentality. I wasn't naturally talented at all. I had to work really hard for every skill. I went on to perform demonstrations and competed at some of the highest levels in my respective field of martial arts, from state to national levels. I've also experienced some serious injuries and losses through competition, but no matter what, I never gave up. I also never did the bare minimum. I was able to thrive.
Speaker 1:I tell the story, not to stroke my own ego, but to give you a glimpse into my journey and to help you understand why I'm so passionate about the topic of discipline. So what made me become so disciplined? I've had many opportunities to support others and reflect on the nature of self-discipline through my work as a therapist over the years and today I want to break down what I've learned and share the insights that can help you develop solid discipline in your own life. When I was 15, I developed my own philosophy on how to cultivate discipline that I think is still relevant today. For me, it was all about doing something you know is good, even when you don't feel like it. I recognize that there were many times when I didn't want to do what was important simply because I didn't feel like it, but I knew deep down that these tasks were important to me, so I couldn't let my emotions decide for me. So what's discipline?
Speaker 1:Discipline is simply delayed gratification and impulse control. It's the ability to direct your motivation and attention, deciding to do what you believe is right and good, regardless of temptations and impulses, and still move towards a goal, even when it's challenging. There are countless reasons why we all struggle with being more disciplined. At the core of it, it's simply a skill many of us don't practice. When I was planning this session, I realized I didn't want to waste your time explaining all the other reasons, because, honestly, that doesn't matter. Those reasons haven't done you any good, have they? They're most likely just excuses valid or not. They are disempowering.
Speaker 1:So instead of telling you why, let's talk about what will happen if you keep living as you are now without deliberately developing self-discipline. You will lack control over the direction of your life. You will struggle with health problems that are within your control. You will become easily distracted. You will have financial problems. You will have financial problems. You will struggle with clutter and possibly hoarding. You will quit when things get difficult or, worse, you will avoid it completely, even if they're important to you. You will complain more and more about life. Can you add to this list? Or, better yet, I want you to really envision your life ahead if you don't develop self-discipline. What would that life look like Six months, one year, five years from now? Is that the life you really want?
Speaker 1:Take a moment to think about that as we dive into the first lesson of self-discipline small actions. This is where your journey begins, what you need to start doing today is taking small actions. Just like you would with reading or writing. I didn't become a black belt and start competing at the highest level overnight. No one gets good at anything from day one without a strong foundation of useful habits that's been refined through trial and error. Let's be real and use some common sense. Everything starts with small actions until you can adapt and handle more. Let's be real and use some common sense. Everything starts with small actions until you can adapt and handle more. It's all about building the ability to delay gratification so that you can stay within the discomfort longer than last time.
Speaker 1:At its core, discipline is about delaying gratification, and this is a practice. You can start by delaying gratification in simple, mundane habits throughout the day. For example, when you're waiting in line, practice being patient just a bit longer Instead of eating so fast. Slow down and savor your food. These small changes in your everyday autopilot behaviors might seem minor, but they compound over time. Trust me, these small actions add up. In the beginning, frequency is more important than duration and intensity of the practice. This means I, rather you, practice more often than doing that practice once in a while for a longer period of time with more intensity. Frequency allows you to move from intention to follow through and reinforce the positive feedback loop that builds momentum.
Speaker 1:Think about how school trains us to learn. They give us homework and things to practice and then, once in a while, we have a major exam or test. This is the same approach you should take with developing self-discipline. One thing I want to really etch into your brain is that discipline has to be a voluntary and deliberate choice and action. So let me reiterate this To build self-discipline, it has to be voluntary. Being forced into something is not how you develop self-discipline. It will teach you to be reliant on external forces. You must hold yourself accountable and choose to take these actions yourself.
Speaker 1:Let's move on to another crucial aspect of developing self-discipline discomfort training. I spent over four years treating individuals struggling with OCD using a method called exposure and response prevention, or ERP therapy. Let me tell you, ocd can be very severe and debilitating, and I saw firsthand how much effort it takes for these individuals to get better. The important thing here is that ERP reflects what discipline is all about. Here's something I really want you to know Discipline is more about positive action and less about positive thinking. Engage in positive actions, even when your mind resists and is still being negative. Train your mind to follow your lead. Eventually, the negative thoughts will have less power over you it won't go away but it will certainly be less convincing where you base your decisions off of them and you'd pay much less attention to them. Be mindful and take consistent actions that you know are good for you.
Speaker 1:A fast way to develop discipline is by doing things that are important, especially when you don't feel like it. This is something I observed in ERP therapy, where individuals learn to do just a little bit more, especially in moments when their minds make up excuses or try to avoid a task. When you catch those moments, it's vital that you do not let that influencing thought off the hook quickly or easily. Try to push yourself to do a bit extra just to teach that thought a lesson. You are in control, not those automatic thoughts trying to keep you complacent, scared or helpless. As you practice these small micro activities throughout the day, this compound effect will make it easier to be disciplined for bigger and more important tasks. Another key point is that stress, when managed properly, can actually enhance your performance by improving your focus. Think of discomfort training as a way to harness that stress and use it to your advantage. So the valuable lesson here is when our unhelpful thoughts make excuses to avoid a task, doing it anyway especially if it's important trains your mind to obey you. By pushing a little bit more at the end of a task, you reinforce who's in control, letting your mind know who's boss.
Speaker 1:This technique isn't just for those struggling with OCD. It's useful for anyone trying to build discipline. Remember OCD. It's useful for anyone trying to build discipline. Remember discipline at its core is about delaying gratification.
Speaker 1:Now let's dive into another crucial element pressure and urgency. For all of you procrastinators out there, let me ask you something why do you keep procrastinating? You know you do it and you even describe yourself as a procrastinator, yet you continue to procrastinate. Why, yeah, I'm really asking you. You know who you are. Well, here's my simple answer to your why. You do it? Because it works. And why does it work? Because of the pressure from a sense of urgency.
Speaker 1:Procrastination is good because it pushes you to get things done. The important thing is how can we be more deliberate with using the motivation behind procrastination? We can leverage this tendency to work harder by intentionally developing pressure and a sense of urgency. The simplest way is to set deadlines. Deadlines are important. We need some pressure, but keep in mind that it's best if it's a deadline for something that's important to you. Another thing to think about when someone is relying on you, whether it's your family, friends or colleagues, don't you feel a greater sense of responsibility and urgency? Developing urgency for yourself requires making the task as important as possible and setting benchmarks to measure your progress. When you don't feel like doing something, that's an opportunity to reaffirm to yourself why it's important.
Speaker 1:Your belief system around discipline matters. So let me break it down To create urgency and leverage pressure. To create urgency and leverage pressure, set clear deadlines. Make sure these deadlines are for tasks that truly matter to you or, better yet, make those tasks matter. You are responsible to make what you do matter to you. Engage in healthy competition, whether it's with others or yourself. Competition can drive you to perform better. Find accountability. Having someone rely on you or holding yourself accountable can create a sense of urgency. Reaffirm your why.
Speaker 1:You hear this a lot from a lot of thought leaders, and the reason is because it's important. Look, you don't need a specific passion to develop self-discipline, but you need to have a passion for being self-discipline, but you need to have a passion for being self-disciplined and understanding why it's important. I see it as a moral obligation. That is extremely important because there are a lot of risks and dangers to being undisciplined not just for yourself, as mentioned earlier, but for those around you, and this is something I can do a deeper dive on and talk more about in another session. The point here is that you need to make it important to you, constantly remind yourself why the task is important to you, especially when you feel like not doing it or giving up Reasons reap results. Too many of us have a closet full of excuses and we walk around weaponizing these excuses against our better judgment, so cultivate your why instead.
Speaker 1:Making tasks urgent increases output and productivity. This is why procrastination works. The pressure and urgency motivate us to complete the task by setting clear deadlines, engaging in competition and reaffirming your reasons clear deadlines, engaging in competition and reaffirming your reasons you can harness this pressure you often feel during those last-minute pushes to complete things more effectively. I hope by now, at this point in the session, that you are already shifting your perspective around discomfort Because, believe it or not, how you think about discomfort does influence how you behave when it shows up in your life. By seeing discomfort as a tool, you can create the biology of courage and willpower to do the hard things.
Speaker 1:When you start to perceive discomfort as a necessary part of growth rather than something to shy away from, you unlock a powerful mindset shift. This shift allows you to face challenges head-on and build the resilience needed for self-discipline. Because, let's be honest, in life, anything meaningful will require a lot of courage and bravery, and one of those reasons is because we will make mistakes and fail at times. So this mindset teaches us to embrace failure. I know it might sound counterintuitive, but let me explain. Research shows that experiencing failures and learning to overcome them significantly increases perseverance and resilience. So, with that said, try to fail faster to get more practice in knowing that each failure becomes a stepping stone.
Speaker 1:When you embrace failure, you begin to see it not as a setback but as an essential part of the learning process. Every failure provides valuable insights and teaches you what doesn't work, helping you refine your approach and develop the wisdom to do things better. Failure also builds character and mental toughness. It teaches you how to cope with setbacks, manage disappointment and maintain your motivation despite challenges. This is crucial for developing self-discipline because it helps you stay committed to your goals even when things don't go as planned. To put it simply, the more you fail, the more opportunities you have to learn and grow. By accepting failure as a natural part of your journey, you remove the fear and stigma associated with it, making it easier to take risks and push your limits. Keep in mind that you need to reflect on your failures and actually try to learn from them and make more informed decisions and educated hypotheses, with more direct knowledge and data from first-hand experience. By consistently engaging in tasks that push your boundaries, you train your mind and body to adapt and grow. This process of stepping outside your comfort zone not only strengthens your discipline, but also enhances your overall capacity for handling life's challenges.
Speaker 1:As you progress, you have to ensure that you limit your excuses and complaints. This is one thing I preach a lot, because, after years of therapy, I see how harmful the habit of complaining and making excuses can be. If left unchecked, it builds helplessness, resentment and a negative mindset. If you find yourself constantly complaining and making excuses, it's time to take a hard look at this behavior. Complaining and making excuses rewires our brains for negativity. Stanford studies show that complaining actually shrinks the hippocampus, a critical brain area affected by Alzheimer's disease. This means that chronic complaining doesn't just impact your mood, it can also affect your brain's health and functionality. To combat this, limit your complaints to problems you're actively solving. Stop feeding your excuses. They shape your perspective and personality, making it that much harder to break free. And here's something important to understand Discipline doesn't require for you to feel motivated, but having motivation is helpful.
Speaker 1:It's vital, but not sufficient, especially if the motivation comes from anywhere else other than yourself, because the best motivation is self-motivation. The best motivation comes from within. I'm not going to spend a lot of time on this, but I do want to tell you to try and ditch your attachments to external rewards like grades or money. While these can reinforce your internal drive, they shouldn't define it. Relying too much on external rewards can damage your drive and self-worth. Instead, focus on improving in areas that truly matter to you. Either the task itself matters and you want to master it, or accomplishing the task yields an outcome that matters to the people and life you care about. We've covered some essential lessons in building self-discipline, from taking small actions to embracing discomfort and limiting excuses. Now let's end this with our final lesson Visualization.
Speaker 1:Visualization is the skill practiced by many elite athletes and high achievers. It's something I do a lot as a martial artist, where I practice techniques and scenarios in my head with great detail, so much so that it feels like I can execute them in real life. Visualization is not just about daydreaming. It's about mentally rehearsing your actions with precision and intention. Our minds naturally engage in visualization when it comes to negative things, which often show up as worries and anxieties. But what if we harness this powerful tool for positive actions? Just like how worries can trigger anxiety in our bodies even when nothing is happening in real life, we can trigger confidence and power by visualizing positive outcomes. Visualization is a form of imaginal exposure similar to techniques used in clinical hypnotherapy and the treatment of OCD and PTSD. In these therapies, individuals are guided to visualize and mentally engage with specific scenarios, which helps desensitize them to fears and anxieties. This process can rewire the brain's response to stressors, making it an effective method for overcoming psychological barriers.
Speaker 1:Here's how you can practice visualization See yourself succeeding. Picture yourself doing difficult things successfully. Be specific the more detail you include, the more real it will feel. The more you do this, the better you'll get. Just as you would physically practice a skill, mentally rehearse the steps and actions you need to take. This can be incredibly effective in building confidence and preparing you for real-life challenges. By visualizing positive actions and outcomes, you can evoke feelings of confidence, power and preparedness. You can evoke feelings of confidence, power and preparedness. This mental practice can help you approach your goals with a stronger, more positive state of energy.
Speaker 1:Visualization is a powerful technique that allows you to practice and refine your skills mentally while activating your body in ways that generate a sense of empowerment, which can significantly enhance your performance when you put them into action. In the end, discipline is essentially a sense of empowerment, which can significantly enhance your performance when you put them into action. In the end, discipline is essentially a way of life. It's a trait that demands practice. If you're not living the life you want, maybe it's time to develop a bit more discipline. It's about having the ability to direct your motivation and invest your time and energy towards what truly matters, instead of wasting time on what. Your time and energy towards what truly matters, instead of wasting time on what doesn't and compromising what's important.
Speaker 1:We've come a long way today, exploring various aspects of building self-discipline. I'm not telling you to train at the discipline level of Olympic athletes or elite UFC fighters. In all honesty, we all have a champion and fighter mentality in all of us. Just know you have a choice and exercising the freedom of these choices requires self-discipline. Thank you for joining me on this journey towards mastering self-discipline. If you found this episode helpful, please take a moment to review, like and share it with others who might benefit. Don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode, and if you'd like to learn more about self-discipline, reach out to me and stay tuned for courses and valuable resources. Check out our other episodes for more insights and strategies on personal growth and mental well-being. Your feedback and support mean the world to me and it helps me continue to put out relevant and valuable information and resources and allows us to reach more people who can benefit from these discussions. Until next time, take care, be kind to yourself and remember you have the power to shape your life with discipline and intention.
Speaker 2:Thanks for tuning in to Mind Manners with Albert Nguyen. We hope you found value in this episode. If you'd like to work with Albert one-on-one, visit OptiMindCounselingcom to learn more about his private practice. Looking to join a community of like-minded individuals, Search Mind Manners Podcast Community on Facebook and join our group to connect with others on their wellness journeys. Finally, if you haven't already done so, please write us a five-star review on Apple Podcast and let us know you're enjoying the show.
