Mind Manners
Mind Manners
Sculpting a Life of Intention: Living Your Core Values
Have you ever felt like you're just going through the motions, unsure if the path you're on aligns with what's truly important to you? Join me, Albert, as we embark on a journey to discover how identifying and living by your core values can transform your life into one of purpose and fulfillment. Let's talk about the tricky terrain of societal expectations and how they often lead us away from our true north. Let's learn to differentiate between the values that define us and the goals we chase, ensuring that every step we take is one towards a life brimming with intention and satisfaction.
This session isn't just about finding what matters; it's about actively living a life that reflects those discoveries. We'll explore setting daily intentions rooted in values like kindness and gratitude, which foster a reinforcing cycle of positive behaviors. Through stories of personal contentment and distress, learn to excavate your authentic values, moving beyond mere titles and roles. I'll share actionable strategies for making your values a daily practice, turning everyday decisions into opportunities for growth and self-reflection. So tune in, and together let's sculpt a life that's not just lived, but truly cherished.
Don't forget to sign up for the FREE Mindfulness Course HERE
Connect with Albert:
On Instagram
On Twitter
On LinkedIn
Join the Mind Manners FaceBook Community - where you can share your efforts to improve the way you live, take on challenges, and submit topics and ideas for future episodes.
Albert's Private Practice at Optimind Counseling
Subscribe to Albert's Newsletter
How are you? I hope you're taking that valuable moment right now for yourself as you tune in. This is Albert, a therapist who's passionate about helping people find clarity and fulfillment in their lives, and today I want to talk to you about something incredibly important knowing and living your values.
Speaker 2:You're listening to Mind Manners, hosted by licensed psychotherapist Albert Nguyen. Albert helps his clients overcome past trauma, change their mindset and accelerate their personal and professional development. This podcast covers a wide range of mental health and self-development topics, with each episode offering an actionable step towards a better you. If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1:Have you ever felt like you're just wandering through life without a clear direction, moving through your day-to-day on autopilot and feeling empty and unfulfilled? It's a feeling many of us experience at some point, probably more often than we'd care to admit. I believe that this is deeply correlated to having a lack of meaning in our lives. We don't have clarity in what we're doing, why we're doing it, why we think what we think, why we're struggling, why we feel so empty and without meaning, a lot of our problems just don't feel worthwhile. So it's easy to find distractions to avoid it all. When we lack strong anchors to keep us grounded in what truly matters, we will lose ourselves along this journey of living our lives. We all need to develop our own metaphorical internal compass to brave the wilderness and to help us navigate through life. And with this compass we need to figure out our true north, to always lead us back on the right path when we get lost. I've seen firsthand how understanding and living by our values can truly transform our lives. Yet most of us never take the time to sit down and define what truly matters to us. Instead, we often passively and subconsciously adopt societal norms and play a role based on expectations without really questioning if they align with who we are as individuals. Think about it. How often do you reflect on what drives you, what you stand for, what you're willing to fight for and suffer for, and what gives your life meaning? Without this clarity, we lose sight of our true north. In all the noise and distractions, we end up feeling off course, unfulfilled and disconnected from our core selves. Today, I want to talk about why this is all important and why you need to find clarity, rediscover your core values and understand how living in alignment with them can bring a renewed sense of purpose and direction to your life.
Speaker 1:From my observations over the years as a therapist, I've witnessed that we betray ourselves all the time by violating our own values and compromising them for ideas and ways of living that are not truly important to us, and we do so without really knowing. Sometimes we trap ourselves in other people's opinions and judgments and even rationalize that this is the right way to live. This self-betrayal leads to unhappiness and a sense of disconnection A disconnection from ourselves. But our emotions constantly signal us when we ignore or stray from our values. We feel uneasy, irritated, dissatisfied and sometimes even stuck and lost. But imagine waking up each day with a sense of purpose, having clear intentions, making decisions that align with your deepest beliefs, and feeling truly connected to what you are doing in life and fulfilled in every aspect of your life Sounds amazing, right? Living a more meaningful and fulfilling life, one where your decisions, lifestyle struggles, achievements and actions enhance the overall quality of fulfilling life, one where your decisions, lifestyle struggles, achievements and actions enhance the overall quality of your life. It all starts with knowing your values.
Speaker 1:Values are more than just abstract ideas. They are personal truths and concepts and principles that shape our thoughts, beliefs, emotions, decisions and actions. They reflect what matters to us and what we find meaningful in life. When we live in alignment with our values, we experience a profound sense of purpose. But many people struggle with a lack of clarity about their values, leading to a feeling of being lost or disconnected. In my work as a therapist, I've found that most people haven't taken the time to define their values. What's sad is that many are more familiar with their workplace's mission and core values than their own. This happens because we don't naturally sit down and reflect on what truly matters to us and, like I said earlier, over time we tend to adopt an interpretation of the values of society or those around us, without questioning if they resonate with what we believe to be true to ourselves. This can lead to inner conflict.
Speaker 1:It is important to develop a reflective habit to understand our emotions. Our emotions often act as indicators when we are ignoring something important or have strayed from our values. When we feel uneasy, dissatisfied or persistently unhappy despite external success, it's usually a sign that we are not living in accordance with our true values. Usually a sign that we are not living in accordance with our true values. This journey of understanding your values requires introspection and reflection on what actually brings you fulfillment. It's easier said than done, of course. It's not a quick process, but it's essential for leading an authentic life. Choosing your values should be a deliberate act of self-reflection. And remember values are not static. They evolve as we grow and experience new situations, and it's important to regularly revisit and reassess your values. This continuous process helps you face life's challenges with greater clarity and confidence. Now that we've talked about the role of values in our lives clarity and confidence Now that we've talked about the role of values in our lives, let's explore how we can truly understand and live by our values.
Speaker 1:I want you to understand that values are not goals. Goals are specific targets we can achieve and check off a list. Values are ongoing principles we strive to embody every day of our lives. Think about the value of health not as a goal, like losing 10 pounds, but as a continuous practice of eating well and exercising regularly. And, like any transformation and sustainable change, we need to make it a lifestyle, essentially a way of life. Living by your values means integrating them into your daily routines. Start simple. Frequency matters more than complexity. From my experience working with patients, I often suggest beginning with small, manageable actions. Over time, these simple, consistent practices evolve and become more sophisticated as they merge with your daily life. So keep that in mind.
Speaker 1:Daily practice is key, even if it's only a few seconds throughout the day. You might be wondering how does that lead to any significant change? It's simple. A lot of us suffer from perfectionism and procrastination, which often prevents many of us from even starting anything, let alone practicing. I would rather you practice something for one minute a day, every day, than just one hour per a month.
Speaker 1:Having an intention and then following through and running the course of that behavioral pattern reinforces commitment and integrity. It creates a feedback loop that strengthens your commitment to your values. So let's say, if kindness is one of your core values, set a daily intention to perform a small act of kindness, or even deliberately thinking of a kind thought within a day To avoid feeling overwhelmed. Focus on one or two values each day. This allows you to engage deeply without spreading yourself too thin. As you keep these values in focus, you'll find new and creative ways to express them, and you will also realize how they all overlap and can easily branch out and transform into other values that you care about.
Speaker 1:I recall one patient who initially struggled with the idea of living by their values. They saw it as too abstract for their busy life. But by starting with small steps, like setting daily intentions and ending their days on reflection with their actions, they began to weave their values into their everyday routine. This approach helped them feel more connected to their purpose and more in control of their life. Remember, living your values is a journey. It takes patience, reflection and consistent effort, but the rewards are immense A life aligned with your deepest beliefs, filled with purpose and fulfillment.
Speaker 1:So how do we even begin to identify our values? Well, let me say that identifying your values is a crucial part of answering the fundamental question who are you? This question goes beyond what you do for work, your cultural background, your nationality, biology, socioeconomic status, gender or sexuality. It's not about the labels or groups you identify with, the roles you play, your hobbies or your daily activities. These are all surface-level constructs. Who we are is much more multifaceted and deeper than these superficial identifiers. It's natural for many of us to answer this question with shallow responses, using words and labels that have a world of meaning behind them that we've never truly defined for ourselves. We often assume that these labels come with a set of prescribed meanings and connotations, but no two people are alike. Interpretations differ, so we need to ask questions like where did these meanings come from, how did you come to understand them the way you do, and why are you drawn to certain labels and not others?
Speaker 1:In my work with patients, exploring values is almost always a part of the treatment process. Many people identify themselves through labels related to their work, education, what they spend their time doing most and other social roles. The deeper work comes from questioning why those labels are important. When we start to peel back these layers, we often uncover the deeper, underlying core values that drive us. For example, someone who identifies strongly with their career might realize that their underlying value is not just about the job itself, but about achievement, providing for their family or making a difference in their community. It's about understanding the why and the why does that matter that extracts what's behind the label. Through this process, we often find deeper values far beyond the labels, and sometimes we even let go of those labels, realizing that there are unifying and universal principles we were all striving for, such as being a good person and defining what good means to each of us. Every individual has their own unique set of values, and only you can define what they are for yourself. This process of exploration takes time because values are complex and deeply rooted in both our conscious and unconscious minds. Values are implicit motivators that influence our emotions, thoughts and behaviors. They are the fuel that drives us to maintain discipline with our actions and helps us progress in life.
Speaker 1:Understanding and aligning with your values can lead to self-expansion and fuller self-actualization. This journey begins with identifying simple words and exploring how they manifest in our lives. It's about discovering your personal truth behind these values and allowing them to authentically guide your life. By understanding what truly matters to you, you can live a life that is more intentional and aligned with your deepest beliefs. So take some time to reflect. I invite you to think about your own life. What labels do you use and what deeper values might they represent? Think about moments when you felt truly content and fulfilled. Maybe even think about the moments you were deeply upset and hurt. What were you doing? What happened? Who were you with? Why does it matter? These moments can reveal a lot about your core values and remember.
Speaker 1:Clarifying your values is an ongoing process. As you grow and experience new things, your values evolve Regularly. Revisiting and reassessing your values ensures they remain aligned with who you are and who you want to become. I know I've emphasized a lot on the importance of digging deep and reflecting on your emotions, behaviors and thoughts, understanding where they come from and why you identify with certain things. All these reflective practices are essential for cultivating your authentic self, but they can't take place without the most fundamental part practicing your values daily in your habits. If you find yourself stuck in analysis, just pick one or two values and start integrating them into your daily life. I believe in empowering you with simple, actionable steps that you can start practicing right away. I understand that the initial resistance to begin is often the hardest part. Life is about practicing, not perfection, so begin incorporating a value or two into your daily actions. With that said, let's talk about practical strategies for living your values. This part of the journey requires intentionality and consistent effort. Habit formation is all about keeping it simple so that you can sustain it and integrate it into your lifestyle. Don't wait until you have a perfectly clear definition of your values to start. Think of it as a living document that evolves as you practice and engage with it. Here are three practical strategies to help you integrate your values into your daily routine Set daily intentions.
Speaker 1:Each morning, take a few moments to reflect on your core values and set intentions for how you will embody them throughout the day. For example, if one of your values is gratitude, decide to practice gratitude at least once each day. For example, if one of your values is gratitude, decide to practice gratitude at least once each day. Setting these daily intentions helps keep your values at the forefront of your mind and guides your actions. In my practice, I've seen how powerful setting daily intentions can be. One patient who struggled with feeling disconnected from their values began each day by writing down a simple intention related to their core values. Over time, they found that these small, intentional acts brought them a greater sense of fulfillment, in alignment with their true self.
Speaker 1:Reflect and adjust. At the end of each day, take a few minutes to reflect on how well you lived according to your values, identify areas where you succeeded and areas where you can improve. This daily reflection reinforces your commitment and allows you to make adjustments as needed, ensuring continuous growth and alignment with your values. I've practiced this myself and found it incredibly helpful. After a particularly challenging day, I'll sit down and think about how my actions aligned or didn't align with my values. This reflection helps me recognize patterns and make conscious changes to better embody my values in the next day.
Speaker 1:Simplify and prioritize. Focus on one to two core values at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Simplifying your approach allows you to concentrate your efforts and see more significant progress. Over time, as these values become more integrated into your life, you can gradually incorporate additional values. Living by your values requires patience, reflection and consistent practice. But remember, the goal is not perfection, it's progress. As you practice these strategies, you'll find that your values become more deeply ingrained in your daily life, guiding your actions and decisions more naturally. In the end, working on identifying your values and using them to manage your emotions and foster growth is an antidote to many of the problems we face by adulthood. Our personalities and values are usually well-formed, guiding our lives like a compass. Strong and refined values fueled by intense emotions provide optimism and resilience against life's challenges. Embracing our values humanizes us and fosters a sense of common humanity. Embracing our values humanizes us and fosters a sense of common humanity, reminding us of our shared purpose and the importance of living a life aligned with our deepest convictions.
Speaker 1:Understanding and living your values is not just a philosophical exercise. It's a practical approach to navigating life with clarity and purpose. Practicing your values is an act of standing up for your beliefs, who you are and what you stand for. Your behaviors then become a symbol that unifies you with humanity and universal needs. Drinking a cup of tea, exercising or working a job will no longer feel mundane. It will tie you to your reasons for living. As you reflect on your values and align your actions with them, you'll find a renewed sense of direction and fulfillment, enriching both your life and the lives of those around you.
Speaker 1:Additionally, holding yourself accountable, whether through self-reflection, journaling or sharing your journey with a trusted friend or therapist can significantly reinforce your commitment to living by your values. By defining and living by your values, you create a foundation for personal integrity and a purposeful life, helping you navigate challenges with confidence and clarity. So take that first step. Identify your core values, integr them into your daily life and watch as your world transforms. Embrace it with an open heart and mind and you'll discover the profound impact living your values can have on your life. Thank you for joining me in this session. If you found this discussion helpful, please share it with someone who might benefit from it. Remember to subscribe and tune in for our next session. Until then, take care and keep living with intention.
Speaker 2:Thanks for tuning in to Mind Manners with Albert Nguyen. We hope you found value in this episode. If you'd like to work with Albert one-on-one, visit OptiMindCounselingcom to learn more about his private practice. Looking to join a community of like-minded individuals? Search Mind Manners Podcast. Thank you,
