Mind Manners
Mind Manners
Unlocking the Hero Within: The Benefits of an Alter Ego
Ever wondered if you could transform your life and become the heroic version of yourself you've always dreamed of? Just as actors are able to tap into their craft by embodying roles and summoning traits beyond their own current identity, you can do the same. It sounds like a storyline plucked from a Marvel comic, but it's a journey of self-discovery we embark on this episode. We'll venture into the concept of creating an alter ego and its power in challenging negative self-talk. Join me as I reveal my alter ego, Casey, who I first met while working in a dementia clinic. It's an encounter that not only changed my perception of myself but also helped me step into the reality of others, leading to invaluable life lessons and insight.
We discuss the centuries-old concept of alter ego, exploring how it can help unlock the hero inside each of us. Let's dive into a world where perception becomes reality, and your heroic alter ego awaits to be discovered. You'll learn how to create your own alter ego, a tool for practicing mindfulness and living authentically. So get ready to step out of your comfort zone and discover the empowering benefits of having an alter ego. It's not about pretending to be someone else; it's about embracing the best version of ourselves and conquering everything life throws our way.
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I recently had a chat with my older brother, and a conversation reignited the idea and power behind having an alter ego. We were talking about our names and how we ended up with an alias, and that talk reminded me of how special it can be to have an alias and what that represents, how, at birth, our names were given to us and we live a life with that name. That name itself starts to develop a reputation, and over time, we can kind of get boxed in by who we think that person is, and so choosing an alias and using it is a conscious choice, and it can feel like being reborn into a new person. There's something powerful about this. So get ready, because I'm about to introduce you to someone very special to me for the first time ever on this podcast. His name is Casey.
Speaker 2:You're listening to Mind Manners, hosted by licensed psychotherapist Albert Nguyen. Albert helps his clients overcome past trauma, change their mindset and accelerate their personal and professional development. This podcast covers a wide range of mental health and self-development topics, with each episode offering an actionable step towards a better you. If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1:Throughout life, we attach and identify ourselves with a lot of different labels, many of which are defined for us and they sort of come with a prescription and therefore boxes us in and limits us from our free-spirited and creative selves. So, before I dive into the idea of creating an alter ego for yourself, I want to introduce Casey to you. So Casey is someone who is very bold, determined, resilient and a problem solver. He finds a way to accomplish things. Casey is driven by honor, respect and compassion. He is crystal clear about his purpose. He knows what he stands for and he fights for it. When he finds himself in a difficult situation, he uses it as an opportunity to affirm and reaffirm and assert his values. He is uncomfortable with comfort, knowing how comfort can deter him from the best version of himself. He is addicted to working hard at work worth doing. Impossible does not exist to him, only things that he has yet to try. Casey basks in the whole truth, because lying is a waste of time. To him, the truth is only real shortcut to self-improvement. Casey believes that knowing your limits only serves as the proper and true start to your life's journey. He is the personification of everything that makes a human being nearly a superhero or a champion at heart, and if you ever had the opportunity to meet Casey in person, then you would know that Casey and I are one and the same. Casey is my alter ego. It's a true story and I want to share with you where Casey came from. It's a part of a very fond memory I have, back in the year 2009,.
Speaker 1:I worked at an outpatient medical clinic for dementia that served over 60 patients on any given day. The majority of the patients between about, I would say, 70 to 80% that came through this clinic were diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease. I got to meet with almost every single patient, got to know them and their families, friends and caretakers, and supported them in managing their symptoms, enhancing their quality of life. The common symptoms with the Alzheimer's disease are memory loss, mood changes or confusion with place, date or time. The symptoms typically start off very mild but get worse over time. Each person with Alzheimer's disease progressed through diseases of the disease at different rates, so you just never know who you might meet that day. They may be the same person, but their reality has changed. And Casey? Well, during my four year time at this clinic, casey actually found me. I remember one of the patients enthusiastically shouted out to me on a random day. He said hey, casey, and I looked around and I saw that he was speaking to me. I thought to myself that he believed that I was someone he knew from an earlier time in his life. This was a sign that he had progressed further along in disease.
Speaker 1:At this point in my career I was more experienced with the Alzheimer's disease and how the symptoms manifested across different people. Instead of correcting them, I learned to be curious and would almost always step into their reality. It helped me understand where they were in the disease while also alleviating unnecessary stress. So if they thought they were 17 years old, they were 17. If they thought it was 1960, it was 1960. If I reminded them of someone, especially if that someone brought them happiness, I would be that person. I learned quickly that the gap between perception and reality can be easily blurred and fuzzy For all of us. Our perception can become our realities and in this case, this patient thought I was Casey. From that moment on and for the next two years, I embodied Casey.
Speaker 1:This patient once was a director of a huge engineering company or tech company and Casey was someone who had worked for him as a manager, someone he highly respected and admired. I saw the joy and happiness that shined through every time he talked about Casey. I eventually grew very fond of my alter ego, casey. My conversations during my sessions with this patient brought a lot of life lessons, insight and wisdom. So after that patient passed away, two years later, I carried that concept of Casey with me and it grew far beyond from where it started. Casey, to me, was a symbol, a representation of possibilities, hope and limitlessness. He wasn't just a character or memory in someone else's life. Casey was ever evolving and he became the Superman to my Clark Kent, the Batman to my Bruce Wayne, the Spider-Man to my Peter Parker Basically, the hero inside all of us.
Speaker 1:Now, the concept of an alter ego has been around for centuries, but until someone takes a concept and gives it some context on ways to implement it, it only becomes something that we know but don't apply. The great thing is, we all have it. That person is already inside all of us. You just need to unlock it. This other part of you is your heroic self, the best version of you. I sometimes refer to this version as the most awake or consciously aware, the one that is unplugged from the matrix, so to speak.
Speaker 1:There is a powerful technique that is used in therapy called externalization of voices, in which the therapist becomes the patient's negative thoughts, so that the patient can learn to create enough distance from those thoughts to consciously speak from another truth or standpoint. Creating an alter ego works in a similar way. That can be used outside of therapy. Many people have become so enmeshed with their own negative thoughts that they actually begin to believe that's who they are. Creating an alter ego gives you something else to believe in and grow into, and it's also another way to challenge those negative thoughts. This is a methodology that I often use with kids struggling with OCD obsessive-compulsive disorder in therapy. Today, with the huge uproar of Marvel superheroes, many of which have an alter ego, so I would encourage kids to channel their inner superhero. This works for everyone, not just those struggling with their mental health. The main idea is to imagine ourselves as a different character to get the results we want.
Speaker 1:The alter ego challenges your current view of yourself and, for simplicity, we'll refer to that as the ego. The ego is the inner critic, the part of you that plays out the endless cognitive distortions, has perceived limitations and preconceived notions about who you are. It can even show up as the imposter syndrome. Here's an example of a self-talk between the ego and the alter ego. The ego says I'm not good at that, I'm not going to try. The alter ego says how do you know? If you don't try, let's test it. The ego says what if people laugh at me? The alter ego says let them think what they want. I won't let their opinions get in the way of me trying to live my best life. The ego says what if I fail? The alter ego says what if I don't? And even if I do, at least I know I gave it a shot.
Speaker 1:The alter ego is a clearly self-defined character of what you want to see more of from you and how you want to show up, especially when faced with a challenging situation. It's the voice you invent and grow into that aligns with your best and most authentic self, the voice that helps you balance out the negative self-talk. It acts as a distinct concept that you can begin to believe in. As you know, repeated thoughts become beliefs, which leads us to act on them. Some other benefits of having an alter ego it can help you step out of your comfort zone. Having an alter ego can be very empowering and self-validating. You can channel your gifts and talents through your alter ego. An alter ego can also give you some perspective on your circumstances and it can bring awareness to many of your blind spots around behavioral patterns and things that no longer serve you and, honestly, having an alter ego can make life a lot more fun.
Speaker 1:Now I want to talk a little bit about personality tests, because I know that's a huge thing in our society Now. Personality tests are flawed. The plethora of personality tests, while great and fascinating, it can be fun I actually find them dangerous for some, as it can trap us into limiting labels and concepts about ourselves. This is also another reason why I am very reluctant to provide my patients with mental health diagnoses. I hear it all the time in my practice People who have taken these tests, such as the Myers-Briggs, or diagnosed themselves with a personality disorder or they'll say things like I'm an, I'm an introvert, I'm borderline or whatever. Why would you let these labels define who you are and why would you allow these tests and the results from them to place limitations on you? They're there to inform you of certain things, but they don't define who you are. It's not that these can't be helpful, but they also have the potential to lock us in into an unhelpful, maladaptive belief about ourselves that ultimately lead to a fixed mindset and other dangerous, self-fulfilling prophecies. In other words, we tend to act out our own predictions, beliefs, and make them true. When you strongly identify with something, your behaviors tend to follow that. So in my practice, I encourage people to create alter egos instead of taking personality tests.
Speaker 1:The alter ego is based on a careful examination about your future self an unwritten and limitless self, in building a bridge for that self to drive your current behaviors, not your former self. So creating an alter ego is self-defined, more personalized, proactive and requires more critical thinking and insight extracted from self-reflection and self-exploration. That it requires more work, but you're worth it and you should know that. So let's get to it. Creating that alter ego Now. Have you ever felt more confident when you put on your favorite outfit, maybe even a uniform or a power suit? Perhaps you have a song that you sometimes imagine playing in your mind as you take on a challenge? Maybe you've seen how a child behaves differently during imaginative play while wearing a superhero costume. Or maybe you felt a strange sense of empowerment while wearing an actual superhero costume during Halloween. Whatever that is, the result is the same it brings out the best in a person.
Speaker 1:Creating an alter ego is not very different from these examples and it's quite simple, just like writing a character for a movie or a storybook. Bye these following steps. Start identifying major areas of your life that you struggle in or want to improve in, and then identify the behaviors and attitudes that you currently show up with. Then identify the behaviors and attitudes that you need to succeed or would like to see more of from yourself, and then construct the personality of your alter ego based on the identified behaviors, attitudes and characteristics. Give it a name. Identify your call to action. Basically, when is your alter ego needed? Summon your alter ego is the final step. So I want you to think of Superman. He is Clark Kent on a day-to-day basis, but when danger is afoot, he transforms into Superman to do what he needs to do. This is just the beginning.
Speaker 1:Your alter ego does not have to be perfect. Just like you, your alter ego is ever-evolving. Understand that the alter ego is developed to help you move forward with the hero's journey. Every hero goes through a journey where they will face challenges, overcome them and learn more about how to harness and refine their unique superpowers. Our point is take your alter ego to the streets. You need to practice and discover how to trigger your transformation, to learn how to turn those superpowers on when you need them. There is really only one person in the way of you tapping into your capabilities and that's you, and you are the only person who can move yourself out of the way so you can perform at your peak. The alter ego is not about creating a fosque mask, facade or faking it. It's about finding the hero already inside you to overcome the self-doubt, negativity and insecurity that holds you back. Your alter ego can be the secret identity that stands beside you and shifts your mindset, empowering you to ultimately rise, to become your best self.
Speaker 2:Thanks for tuning in to Mind Manners with Albert Nguyen. We hope you found value in this episode. If you'd like to work with Albert one-on-one, visit optimindcounselingcom to learn more about his private practice. Looking to join a community of like-minded individuals, search Mind Manners Podcast Community on Facebook and join our group to connect with others on their wellness journeys. Finally, if you haven't already done so, please write us a 5-star review on Apple Podcast and let us know you're enjoying the show.
