Mind Manners
Mind Manners
Reimagining Mental Health: Building Resilience & Adopting a Growth Mindset
What if we told you that the challenges you face are actually opportunities for personal growth? That's right, it's time to shift our perspective on mental health, moving from a reactive to proactive approach. This episode tackles the hard-hitting topic of mental health, focusing on the importance of mental strength. We bust the myth of the victim mindset and highlight how our experiences can be transformed into sources of insight, growth, and resilience, just like a physical workout strengthens our muscles.
We also shed light on the power of adopting a growth mindset and how it can act as fuel for your next effort. From developing grit to embracing delayed gratification, we walk you through techniques to build mental resilience. And guess what? We take it a notch higher with an interesting take on the statement 'yet'. Yes, a simple word addition can greatly alter your narrative and perspective on challenges. We believe in building a community for this wellness journey, and we're right here with you. So, tune in to redefine your mental health journey and reclaim control. It's time to reframe our stories and make them work for us.
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Let's have a meaningful conversation about mental health and why I believe it's time for us to shift our perspective and be more proactive in approaching it. This is mental health reimagined. Let's dive in.
Speaker 2:You're listening to Mind Manners, hosted by licensed psychotherapist Albert Nguyen. Albert helps his clients overcome past trauma, change their mindset and accelerate their personal and professional development. This podcast covers a wide range of mental health and self-development topics, with each episode offering an actionable step towards a better you. If you're on a wellness journey, keep listening.
Speaker 1:I've seen how often we view mental health as something to be addressed only when there is a problem in our lives and not just a problem but when the problem gets worse. We wait until we're struggling, overwhelmed or in crisis to seek help, if even that this reactive approach needs to change. Not saying that we should anticipate all of our problems and know when to take on early intervention strategies. That's impossible. Life is unpredictable. What I'm talking about is we need to change that narrative. We need to embrace mental health proactively, just as we do with our physical health. Now, we all know life is full of unpredictable challenges and misfortunes. We all face them and no one is above it. And instead of viewing them as just obstacles, I've come to realize that they all have a purpose. As tragic and traumatic as some of them can be, they all serve a purpose for us. They push us to grow, to learn and to become stronger versions of ourselves, and prepare us for the life ahead. When we learn to leverage challenges, amazing things can happen. So here's my vision for mental health as we push forward in raising awareness, let's see mental health as a journey of self discovery and personal growth. Let's be proactive in building our emotional resilience, just like how we work on our physical fitness to stay healthy. Let's not wait for life to get hard before we start taking seriously about things that are happening in our lives. Work on yourself now and forever.
Speaker 1:I have come to understand that the true essence of therapy goes beyond merely alleviating pain. It lies in fostering mental strength within individuals. Over the years, I have witnessed countless clients facing diverse challenges and I have learned that true growth and resilience stem from developing the mental fortitude necessary to adapt, persevere and keep growing despite life's adversities. Therapy becomes a transformative journey where individuals learn to embrace their struggles, extract valuable lessons from their experiences and find a civil lining even in the darkest moments. I feel this so aggressively that the conversations and perspectives around mental health needs to shift. Alleviating distress is only part of what going to therapy is about and, honestly, it's only a band-aid, and it's my mission to empower people so that they become their own therapists and experts of their own lives. So back to my earlier point of changing the language and idea of mental health to mental strength training.
Speaker 1:Moving from reactive to proactive Mental strength is about building grit, because life itself will not let up. Life will continue to jab at you and throw many punches, and it will beat you down, especially when you want to live a meaningful life and a life that you can be proud of, that is filled with fulfillment and purpose. There will be challenges, you will have to pay a price, and people in your life will disappoint you and hurt you. It's human nature. The price of admission to the life that you want comes with that, and this is part of the reason why it's easier to adopt a victim mindset.
Speaker 1:Now, the victim mindset is very common, and the reason why is because it gives us emotional comfort by externalizing responsibilities instead of taking ownership. This alleviates any feelings of guilt or shame. It allows us to garner sympathy and attention from others who may offer support, reassurance and emotional comfort, which reinforces that you are indeed victims. Adopting a victim mindset lets you off the hook with the uncomfortable process of self-reflecting and growth and, what's more, it justifies inaction. Feeling like a victim helps us feel better about our inactions and lack of effort to make improvements, because we're giving our power away to external factors. The victim mindset is a defense mechanism that is a learned reaction from pain and suffering. It was simply just not having our needs met from our parents so we learn to forge these weapons and walls that, as soon as we later, locks us in and creates destruction in how we live and interact with the world. Overcoming a victim mindset is crucial for personal growth and development.
Speaker 1:I speak about this with urgency because I have seen this often in my work and I see this pattern of thinking While it's helped some of us survive, it's truly holding many of us back from true growth. I want you to understand how important building mental strength is for you in creating the life you want. I say this because I also know how easy it is to stay a victim to your circumstances. We live in a world where complacency and convenience are becoming more and more of a choice that we can live with. There is a lack of urgency and immediacy. We don't have to hunt for food or need to worry about being chased by lions or wild animals. My point here is we live in a time where the most common threats are tolerable. Our physical safety is not always at risk. We can now suffer comfortably at a desk job or on a nice bed.
Speaker 1:Look, I'm not trying to demean or belittle the pain and suffering, everything that you have gone through and everything that you are still going through and everything that you have yet to go through. All matters, the emotional experiences you have, all matter. I'm not taking that away and I'm not encouraging you to deny them. Quite the opposite, I'm encouraging you to take it all in, feel what you need to feel, the injustice, the pain, the betrayal and let it show up and filter it, not through a victim mindset, but a mindset that is useful to help you not only bounce back but fight back and stand up for yourself. You need to convince and influence yourself with a narrative that allows you to understand and feel the urgency to affirm and reaffirm who you are, why you hear, and let that instill a deep sense of motivation inside of you.
Speaker 1:You must create the urgency to actually take deliberate actions to get better. Don't let life decide that for you. I understand it's easier said than done and I've been there too and I still struggle myself. But I can tell you that things have changed a lot for me since 5, 10 years ago and I'm still learning and growing With some self-awareness. You can change how you see everything, and how you see everything can change how you do things. So I'm here as a fellow human being, someone who has, has and still does the work of self-development and also providing others guidance through this process. I want to tell you you have to take back control. No one is going to do that for you. So whose life are you living? What are you living for? What are you fighting for every day? And, finally, what do you stand for? Whether you know it yet or not, someone or something else is influencing your life more than you are, and if you haven't invested time in reclaiming your power, your mind, then it's most likely hijacked and you're not living your life.
Speaker 1:Taking mental strength seriously is essential, because it is a foundation for a successful and fulfilling life. It is a skill that can be developed and honed with practice and dedication. So I have given you the why, and that leaves us with the big question the how. Look, this is a huge topic that I know requires a lot of work, and I can't possibly give you all the tools and methods on this session, but I'll give you something to start with and some things you can begin thinking about and reflecting on. Take out a notebook and open up, or open up a word doc. Most of this work requires self-reflection and you can't just do this by thinking about it in your head. You need to process this externally and externalize all the things that you have inside.
Speaker 1:Okay, it starts with you answering some serious questions for yourself. Why does this matter to you? Why does becoming a mentally stronger person mean to you and what does it? What would it do for you? Are you committed to becoming a better version of yourself? Why is it that important? If so, what price are you willing to pay?
Speaker 1:The first step is that you have to create urgency. Without urgency, as I mentioned earlier, it's easy to become complacent, even if complacency is depression or unfulfillment. So spend time making a list of who you are living for. What are you fighting for? Dig deep on this one. We must align ourselves with a true North and assign ourselves with responsibilities that matters to us. Without strong reasons, you would not be able to push through and stay consistent with any of the tools I would give you. So spend some time on this, maybe even consider creating a vision board. If you don't know what a vision board is, look it up. I think it's a fun and creative way of investing your time and effort into thinking up your future. Most of us will choose a path of least resistance. If we don't have a strong reason to choose the path of most resistance, it makes sense. Adopting mental strength is essentially adopting the growth mindset and living by a code of ethics.
Speaker 1:After you spend some time creating some urgency, let's talk about personal accountability and integrity. In order to make change, you have to be honest with yourself. You must take 100% responsibility for your life. You don't have to take responsibility for what happened to you and all the horrible things that other people did to you or the losses you've experienced, but you have to take responsibility for what you do with all of it and how you're living your life as a result. This is a tough process, but it's necessary To take responsibility. You have to open yourself up to learning from all your experiences, especially the most painful ones and the ones you're not proud of. You can't just take credit for all your achievements and proud moments without accepting and taking accountability for the mistakes and failures, actions or inactions. It must be a balanced equation. So write out what you're most proud of, your strengths and parts of your life that you feel good about. Then write out a list of things you're not proud of, your weaknesses, your flaws. This process of evaluation and self-audit will let you know what you're working with.
Speaker 1:This is your starting point on your journey of becoming a better version of yourself. Only true way of becoming a better version of yourself is to expose yourself to your weaknesses and parts of you that you're ashamed of. This is sometimes called the shadow work, the part of you that holds you back. The bad habits, your vices, temptations, impulses, fears, limiting beliefs, your triggers. Bring all of that to the surface Because, if you don't, they are operating under the level of consciousness. We need to be aware of these things, because this is the part of you that will self-sabotage any success or change you're trying to make. It will show up when you're trying to grow. It doesn't want you to change, so we need to be aware of it. Give it the attention that it needs. Understand that it's there. I want to also give you some actionable and behavioral methods to build mental strength on this session. These are things to get you started in thinking realistically about this process.
Speaker 1:Now you must adopt principles of the growth mindset One, seeing failure as an opportunity for growth always. Now, failure sucks and it often hurts. We must accept this and hold space for them, but instead of letting it crush us. You need to use it to energize your next effort, even if it's for other activities. You need to channel that energy into useful and constructive action. So use disappointments as a cure or signal to change the way you think. Focus on what you did and don't generalize it to who you are. For example, if you fail the test, you're not a failure. You failed a test. There's a difference. See the bigger picture. Most importantly, learn from it and find lessons in the silver lining.
Speaker 1:You must make grit a habit. Grit is basically perseverance and determination. So make it a habit to practice it. Be creative, for example, if you know you often procrastinate, instead of engaging in that cycle again and again, figure out a new system or way of doing things to mitigate it. If you know you're impatient, seize the opportunities to practice patience, like waiting in the line on purpose and don't complain, or parking farther away and walking.
Speaker 1:Practice delaying gratification is a huge part of developing mental strength. This is about self control and self discipline, and consider it to be one of the number one traits, based on a Stanford study, that contributes to success in multiple life domains in the future, and it's not hard to understand why being able to control your urges and sacrifice. An instant gratification leads to long term rewards, such as completing projects, tasks, homework, workouts, maintaining a diet. We know what life looks like when we constantly give into instant gratification. It's all around us obesity, distractions, being less productive, buying things we don't need. This is not us being in control of our lives, and it's not us being the best version of ourselves when not living a truly meaningful life this way.
Speaker 1:Okay, I'll leave you all with one more thing that I believe is the most transformative and most efficient way of moving towards the best version of yourself and cultivating mental strength, and this one is a no brainer. The method is simple, but our emotions will make it complicated. This next part is all about making you comfortable with being uncomfortable I'm sure you heard that many times before and that is to chase your fears. Faders tend to chase us and we run or avoid it, but we need to flip the script, and this is by far the most and best method to building mental fortitude. If you ever hike a mountain, we all know that the fastest path is usually the steepest path. In the most strenuous and rigorous, the fears you have is the mountain, and at the peak is the greatest version of yourself, and to get up there to have a grand view of all that you have to offer you must make the grueling trek up that mountain.
Speaker 1:To do this, I want you to make a list of all your fears, or anything that makes you uncomfortable. After making a list, I want you to go back and rank each item from worst fears to the least fears. The action plan is then to pick one of these fears. The most logical is to pick the least of the worst to start with, to slowly level up when you choose one, you need to develop clear objectives and activities or tasks you can engage in to start moving towards the fear. An easy example is with public speaking. Instead of starting with doing an actual speech, start by recording your voice and then do a video, and then a small group and then a larger group Do a scripted speech and then an impromptu speech, and so on. You get the idea. You create a deliberate path that progressively gets harder and harder as you get closer and closer to your fear. You do this until you start getting more familiar with the discomfort. The goal here is not to get rid of the fear, but for you to stand your ground and be brave and get familiar with the feeling. Instead of engaging in flight, you fight. That's how you begin shifting your stress response. As always, these are just scratching the surface of a much more detailed approach. So if you want additional support, feel free to reach out or seek professional support or life coaches to help you create a clear plan.
Speaker 1:Remember, self development and growth is a lifelong journey. It's a marathon with occasional sprints. This is not a one size fits all kind of thing. You must do the self reflection and it's that process that allows you to adapt and tailor the methods to your personal needs. Everyone has their own starting point and you have to be willing to stay the course and make this a lifestyle. It's not a goal that has an end. It's a goal that you aim at to help guide you through life and cut through all the other noises and distractions. And when you find yourself struggling with something that you can't do, use the powerful narrative technique by adding the word yet to the end of your statements. If you can't swim, for example, instead of ending it with a period, end it with I can't swim yet. Remember this the story you start with is not the story you end with.
Speaker 2:Thanks for tuning in to Mind Manners with Albert Nguyen. We hope you found value in this episode. If you'd like to work with Albert one on one, visit optimindcounselingcom to learn more about his private practice. Looking to join a community of like minded individuals, search Mind Manners podcast community on Facebook and join our group to connect with others on their wellness journeys. Finally, if you haven't already done so, please write us a five star review on Apple podcast and let us know you're enjoying the show.
